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[04 Dec 2005|06:38pm] |
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This journal is closed down for awhile till im not pissed at everyone anymore. i dont want anyone fucking calling me if i feel like talking to you then ill call you. what im mad about is that 1.) I lost a friend thats being gay. and 2.) that britt took the shit she said seriously. i dont really give a shit at this point what the actuality of all this is thats what im mad about. this is the most emotionally unstable ive been for a long fucking time so fuck all of you for makeing me this way. oh and my cell phone is more than likly going to be off for the next week or so starting tonight.
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[04 Dec 2005|04:08pm] |
Fuck off and Die! OH one of these days oh don't you know One of these days I'm coming out slow and one of these days I'll learn more One of these days I'm coming out slow one of these days I'll hit that door One of these days I'm coming out slow and one of these days their heads will roll
I've been doing this for days it turned to years I've been doing this for days so give me them ears I've been doing this for days it turned to years Doing it for days I'm grinding my gears I've been doing this for days it turned to years I've been doing this for days it turned to years I've been doing this for days it turned to years Doing it for days so fuck your tears fuck your tears fuck your tears
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[04 Dec 2005|10:11am] |
The lady smiled at me when she asked about the possibility That we might spend some time alone And oh the thoughts that filled my head When she looked in my eyes and slowly said Do ya wanna get funky with me, do ya wanna...oh!
The idle mind is a playground for the devil Do ya wanna get funky with me, do ya wanna? Do ya wanna get funky
The way she spoke to me told me I had the opportunity To see how funky she could be And when I looked into her eyes The fire they held made me realize Her flame was burning just for me
The lady tempted me I closed my eyes, it was plain to see She was the devil in disguise And oh the message she'd relay When she would take my hand and say Do ya wanna get funky with me, do ya wanna?
The idle mind is a playground for the devil Do ya wanna get funky with me, do ya wanna?
I wanna set ya on fire "Cause it's hot "Cause it's hot
It's so hot I'm burning up It's so hot I'm burning up Oh no no no
I felt the heat within, the lust of love and the urge to sin I felt her reachin' for my soul And then I knew I had no choice But to heed the command of the devil's voice Do ya wanna get funky with me, do ya wanna, do ya wanna, do ya wanna?
The idle mind is a playground for the devil Do ya wanna get funky with me, do ya wanna get funky Do ya wanna get funky with me, do ya wanna?
The idle mind is a playground for the devil Ah, do ya wanna get funky with me, do ya wanna? Do ya wanna get funky with me?
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[03 Dec 2005|11:25am] |
Well I need to go to Georgetown and pick up stuff for Christmas, everytime I go somewhere to buy presents I usually find something for me too so I buy it lol I know thats not good, like last night I got Disco Bloodbath or rather Party Monster now I guess. Im suspossed to go with Liz to the bookstore today I think in Dupont (same place I got the book last night) and right now Im doing laundry. I really need to work on my book but I need inspiration if ya know what I mean. Gay, Black and Married is one of my new favorite albums, its like weird Techno, I love TKK. Well I love you Britt, Ill call you later! "An idle mind is a playground for the devil"
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[01 Dec 2005|09:26pm] |
One pill makes you larger And one pill makes you small And the ones that mother gives you Don't do anything at all Go ask Alice When she's ten feet tall
And if you go chasing rabbits And you know you're going to fall Tell'em a hookah smoking caterpillar Has given you the call Call Alice When she was just small
When men on the chessboard get up and tell you where to go And you've just had some kind of mushroom And your mind is moving low Go ask Alice I think she'll know
When logic and proportion Have fallen softly dead And the White Knight is talking backwards And the Red Queen's off with her head Remember what the doormouse said: "Feed your Head Feed your Head!"
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[01 Dec 2005|06:44am] |
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Im kooler than Jesus, I dont think youre listening....
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[29 Nov 2005|09:28am] |
In the year 2525 If man is still alive If woman can survive They may find In the year 3535 Ain't gonna need to tell the truth, tell no lies Everything you think, do, and say Is in the pill you took today
In the year 4545 Ain't gonna need your teeth, won't need your eyes You won't find a thing to chew Nobody's gonna look at you
In the year 5555 Your arms are hanging limp at your sides Your legs got nothing to do Some machine is doing that for you
In the year 6565 Ain't gonna need no husband, won't need no wife You'll pick your son, pick your daughter too From the bottom of a long glass tube' Whoooa
In the year 7510 If God's a-comin' he ought to make it by then Maybe he'll look around himself and say Guess it's time for the Judgement day
In the year 8510 God is gonna shake his mighty head then He'll either say I'm pleased where man has been Or tear it down and start again
In the year 9595 I'm kinda wondering if man is gonna be alive He's taken everything this old earth can give And he ain't put back nothing
Now it's been 10,000 years Man has cried a billion tears For what he never knew Now man's reign is through But through eternal night The twinkling of starlight So very far away Maybe it's only yesterday
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[28 Nov 2005|08:03pm] |
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Well Im back in DC. Its ok I guess. For the thanksgiving break I came to GA and hung out a lot with Britt and my parents did the whole suprise birthday thing. Im really digging Johnny Cash right now, I want to get Cocaine Blues cause thats prob gonna be my favorite song lol. Other than that nothing else up comming back in about two weeks if anyone wants to hang out. But based on the little shindig I wont be expecting great things from all my amigos out there.
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[19 Nov 2005|08:06am] |
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Send me to Hell on a four day bender so fucking twisted I wont remember. Send me down a liquor bottle, send me to Hell full fucking throttle
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[15 Nov 2005|09:33am] |
John brown went off to war to fight on a foreign shore. His mama sure was proud of him! He stood straight and tall in his uniform and all. His mama?s face broke out all in a grin.
"oh son, you look so fine, I?m glad you?re a son of mine, You make me proud to know you hold a gun. Do what the captain says, lots of medals you will get, And we?ll put them on the wall when you come home."
As that old train pulled out, john?s ma began to shout, Tellin? ev?ryone in the neighborhood: "that?s my son that?s about to go, he?s a soldier now, you know." She made well sure her neighbors understood.
She got a letter once in a while and her face broke into a smile As she showed them to the people from next door. And she bragged about her son with his uniform and gun, And these things you called a good old-fashioned war.
Oh! good old-fashioned war!
Then the letters ceased to come, for a long time they did not come. They ceased to come for about ten months or more. Then a letter finally came saying, "go down and meet the train. Your son?s a-coming home from the war."
She smiled and went right down, she looked everywhere around But she could not see her soldier son in sight. But as all the people passed, she saw her son at last, When she did she could hardly believe her eyes.
Oh his face was all shot up and his hand was all blown off And he wore a metal brace around his waist. He whispered kind of slow, in a voice she did not know, While she couldn?t even recognize his face!
Oh! lord! not even recognize his face.
"oh tell me, my darling son, pray tell me what they done. How is it you come to be this way? " He tried his best to talk but his mouth could hardly move And the mother had to turn her face away.
"don?t you remember, ma, when I went off to war You thought it was the best thing I could do? I was on the battleground, you were home . . . acting proud. You wasn?t there standing in my shoes."
"oh, and I thought when I was there, god, what am I doing here? I?m a-tryin? to kill somebody or die tryin?. But the thing that scared me most was when my enemy came close And I saw that his face looked just like mine."
Oh! lord! just like mine!
"and I couldn?t help but think, through the thunder rolling and stink, That I was just a puppet in a play. And through the roar and smoke, this string is finally broke, And a cannon ball blew my eyes away."
As he turned away to walk, his ma was still in shock At seein? the metal brace that helped him stand. But as he turned to go, he called his mother close And he dropped his medals down into her hand.
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[10 Nov 2005|07:19pm] |
Tune In Turn On Drop Out ____________________________________________________-
Bum trip of a week man and dosnt look like its picking up. I really just wanna curl into a ball until I dissapear into myself.
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| Poem from "Perks of Being a Wallflower" |
[04 Nov 2005|08:30pm] |
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Once on a yellow piece of paper with green lines he wrote a poem And he called if "Chops" because that was the name of his dog And that's what it was all about And his teacher gave him an A and a gold star And his mother hung it on the kitchen door and read it to his aunts That was the year Father Tracy took all the kids to the zoo And he let them sing on the bus And his little sister was born with tiny toenails and no hair And his mother and father kissed a lot And the girl around the corner sent him a Valentine signed with a row of X's and he had to ask his father what the X's meant And his father always tucked him in bed at night And was always there to do it
Once on a piece of white paper with blue lines he wrote a poem And he called it "Autumn" because that was the name of the season And that's what it was all about And his teacher gave him an A and asked him to write more clearly And his mother never hung it on the kitchen door because of its new paint And the kids told him Father Tracy smoked cigars And left butts on the pews And sometimes they would burn holes That was the year his sister got glasses with thick lenses and black frames And the girl around the corner laughed when he asked her to go see Santa Claus And the kids told him why his mother and father kissed a lot And his father never tucked him in bed at night And his father got mad when he cried for him to do it
Once on a paper torn from his notebook he wrote a poem And he called it "Innocence: A Question" because that was the question about his girl And that's what it was all about And his professor gave him an A and a strange steady look And his mother never hung it on the kitchen door because he never showed her That was the year Father Tracy died And he forgot how the end of the Apostle's Creed went And he caught his sister making out on the back porch And his mother and father never kissed or even talked And the girl around the corner wore too much makeup That made him cough when he kissed her but he kissed her anyway because that was the thing to do And at three A.M. he tucked himself into bed his father snoring soundly
That's why on the back of a brown paper bag he tried another poem And he called it "Absolutely Nothing" Because that's what it was really all about And he gave himself an A and a slash on each damned wrist And he hung it on the bathroom door because this time he didn't think he could reach the kitchen
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| The Forgotten Son |
[04 Nov 2005|08:24pm] |
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He used to love it when he heard her say;
I love you so much, my baby's gonna' make it big someday.
The only thing big for him now
is his herion injections.
He likes to sit and remember when she said;
youre such a good son.
So he went out and bought himself a gun.
He used to cry at night
because he was no longer held by anyone.
He sits somewhere distant
from his childhood Utopia
And likes to make-believe
how things could of been different
If he did all those things
he should of done.
Does his mother still miss him?
Does his father even care?
Is there anyone left who loves him?
He ask himself as he rips out his hair.
How did he ever come to this?
How did he sink so low?
People just walk by him now,
they never stop to think
He was a kid once too
who liked to sneak around
with his grandpa and
like the frosting off all the cakes.
But all those things are just memoires now,
his emotions fill with hatred
All he wanted was to be know by the world.
He wanted to be remembered for something,
God knows he tried his best.
The last people heard of him was a slight crack
A family put down their food and rushed out their doors.
to only find a hobo in their lawn
taking an eternal nap.
His parents didnt ever recognize him
as the police took him to the morgue.
And they sometimes cry at night,
Wondering;
What ever happened to their Son?
For he is in Heaven now,
His suffering finally...
Done...
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[03 Nov 2005|09:32pm] |
She keeps her Moet et Chandon In her pretty cabinet 'Let them eat cake' she says Just like Marie Antoinette A built-in remedy For Kruschev and Kennedy At anytime an invitation You can't decline
Caviar and cigarettes Well versed in etiquette Extraordinarily nice Chorus
She's a Killer Queen Gunpowder, gelatine Dynamite with a laser beam Guaranteed to blow your mind Anytime
Recommended at the price Insatiable in appetite Wanna try?
To avoid complications She never kept the same address In conversation She spoke just like a baroness Met a man from China Went down to Geisha Minor Then again incidentally If you're that way inclined
Perfume came naturally from Paris For cars, she couldn't care less Fastidious and precise Chorus
Drop of a hat she's as willing as Playful as a pussy cat Then momentarily out of action Temporarily out of gas To absolutely drive you wild, wild She's out to get you
Chorus
Recommended at the price Insatiable in appetite Wanna try? You wanna try
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[31 Oct 2005|05:24pm] |
Oh pathways of sensory, Lead me to the Doors of my Perception. Change my world, take me to the spirit realm so I can see truth forever.
Satyan Nastae Payro Dharma
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[26 Oct 2005|09:36pm] |
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Are you on the Bus or are you off the Bus?
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[26 Oct 2005|09:05pm] |
Your joy is your sorrow unmasked. And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with your tears. And how else can it be? The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain. Is not the cup that holds your wine the very cup that was burned in the potter's oven? And is not the lute that soothes your spirit the very wood that was hollowed with knives? When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy. When you are sorrowful, look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.
Some of you say, "Joy is greater than sorrow," and others say, "Nay, sorrow is the greater."
But I say unto you, they are inseparable. Together they come, and when one sits alone with you at your board, remember that the other is asleep upon your bed.
Verily you are suspended like scales between your sorrow and your joy. Only when you are empty are you at standstill and balanced. When the treasure-keeper lifts you to weigh his gold and his silver, needs must your joy or your sorrow rise or fall.
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[25 Oct 2005|09:29am] |
I've felt the hate rise up in me Kneel down and clear the stone of leaves I wander out where you can't see Inside my shell I wait and bleed
I've felt the hate rise up in me Kneel down and clear the stone of leaves I wander out where you can't see Inside my shell I wait and bleed
GOODBYE!!
I wipe it off the tile, the light is brighter this time Everything is 3-D blasphemy My eyes are red and gold, the hair is standing straight up This is not the way I pictured me I can't control my shakes! How the hell did I get here? Something about this, so very wrong I have to laugh out loud, I wish I didn't like this Is it a dream or a memory?
I've felt the hate rise up in me Kneel down and clear the stone of leaves I wander out where you can't see Inside my shell I wait and bleed
GET OUTTA MY HEAD 'CAUSE I DON'T NEED THIS! Why didn't I see this? I'm a victim--Manchurian Candidate I-HAVE-SINNED-BY-JUST Makin' my mind up and takin' your breath away
I've felt the hate rise up in me Kneel down and clear the stone of leaves I wander out where you can't see Inside my shell I wait and bleed
I've felt the hate rise up in me Kneel down and clear the stone of leaves I wander out where you can't see Inside my shell I WAIT AND BLEED!!!
GOODBYE!!!!!!!
You haven't learned a thing I haven't changed a thing The flesh was in my bones The pain is always free
You haven't learned a thing I haven't changed a thing The flesh was in my bones The pain is always free
I've felt the hate rise up in me Kneel down and clear the stone of leaves I wander out where you can't see Inside my shell I wait and bleed
I've felt the hate rise up in me Kneel down and clear the stone of leaves I wander out where you can't see Inside my shell I wait and bleed
AND IT WAITS FOR YOU!!!!!!!
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